My husband and I were married in October of 2012.
Soon after we had hopes of bringing a baby into our family. We learned that getting pregnant doesn’t come easy to every couple. After 2 years we were in the beginning stages of fertility treatments. We did our first round of medicated IUI on 12/1/14. A few days later I came down with a sinus infection.
December of 2014- the beginning of the longest year in our life's... Hell it was the start of the longest days, hours, minutes and seconds. The start of more fear, confusion and stress than we have ever felt.
But it was also when my faith in humanity was restored. I have never felt more love in my life. The generosity of so many... It's just overwhelming. I'm forever grateful to my family, friends, community and so many more... The donations, food, prayers. The constant company and holding my hand meant more than you could ever know.
The sinus infection was my first one. It was horrible and I also got an ear infection with it. I went to an immediate care who prescribed me a z-pack of antibiotics. By day four I was feeling great. The next day, day five. I felt terrible. I had no energy and mixed with a cough that was making me vomit- I felt like I was dying. The next morning- December 11th 2014 I woke up with my left eyelid droopy. Later in the day my hand, feet and mouth all went numb and tingly... Including my teeth. I was talking funny and when I tried walking, it was more like a dance.
Of course there was a huge storm in our area and everything was flooding. I felt guilty but had my husband, Bryan take me back to the immediate care. I have never felt like a bigger hypochondriac than that day. The Doctor said that I was probably having an allergic reaction to the previous antibiotic I was taking. They said to just sleep it off and it was nothing.
The next evening I was admitted into the ER. At that point both of my eyelids were droopy, it was hard to understand what I was saying and I had to have assistance to walk and when I took a drink of something it would go back up my nose. We didn't know then, but my trachea was already paralyzed.
The ER doctor mentioned Guillain Barré Syndrome but that it was rare. They started running what seemed like every test known to man. The next morning the Neurologist came to see me and he was confident that I had Guillain Barré Syndrome but was waiting to confirm it with the results of my spinal tap.
I was coughing so hard and producing a crazy amount of spit. I was terrified to have the spinal tap done because I had to stay completely still. That's when I was introduced to the suction wand. They gave it help with the coughing and mass amount of drool. The spinal tap came back negative for elevated proteins which are needed to diagnose Guillain Barré Syndrome. My neurologist was stumped.
That night my aunt and husband stayed with me. I woke up to use the bathroom and realized that I couldn't feel my face or move the right side of my body. I started yelling that I needed a basin to puke in because I was so terrified to learn that nobody could understand what I was saying. I stood up to walk to the bathroom and fell on the floor. From there the hospital staff was in a frenzy yelling all kinds of scary things including that I couldn't protect my airway and that then needed to take me to the ICU and have me intubated.
By 72 hours after my first GBS symptom I was connected to a ventilator and nearly all the way paralyzed. I was started on IVIG. By that time I finally tested positive for GBS. I continued to get worse and worse in the following days. I had to have a tracheotomy and have a G Tube inserted for my feedings. At my worse I was completely paralyzed- my eyes and all. I was unable to open my eyes for 4 weeks and it took a few more weeks for them to focus so I could see clearly.
I was at our local hospital, Enloe for 2 1/2 weeks. They did a nerve conduction test and decided I had the AMSAN variant of Guillain Barré- Acute Motor-Sensory Axonal Neuropathy. With is the most severe variant of GBS. I was transferred to UCSF where they did all of the same tests that Enloe did. The sent me back to Enloe for a week. From there I was sent 2 hours away to a long term care facility called Vibra on January 8th.
While I was at Vibra I started getting some return. My eyes opened... But wouldn't shut completely for months. I finally weaned of the ventilator after relying on it for nearly 2 months. I got to the point where I could move everything from my waist up.
While still at Vibra I had many doctors come in. We were told so many things about what to expect in my recovery and a timeline. One dr said I would be home within 2 weeks and running in 3 months… Ha.
Before being struck with GBS I was so engulfed with our fertility journey. That’s all I thought about and it sent me into a pretty dark depression. But as soon as I got sick, I knew I had so many things and people to live for. My story was not over. So I did the only thing I knew how to do. I was stubborn as I’ve ever been and refused to give up. I fought. I fought to get back to Bryan, my dad and everyone I loved. I fought for my sanity as I sung every Disney song in my head and go every detail in my life.
Throughout that all the main thing I thought about was when we could start trying for a baby again… obvious I was nowhere near ready or able 🤣 but TTC totally consumes you. All you want is a baby and it’s so hard when what you want doesn’t match up with God's plan.
On February 22nd I was admitted to Sutter- Roseville Rehab Facility. I was there for 2 months and learned to be more independent. Before I was discharged to go home I was able to use a slide board with help to transfer to different surfaces- both room, bed, couch, wheelchair ect.
I was discharged to finally go home after 131 days in hospital care and my dad was with my for 127 of those days and most of the hospitals I was at were 2 or more hours away from home. He is amazing and I'm so blessed to have him.
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March 2016
Fast forard a bit
After being home and having Physical therapy 2-3 times a week I temporarily graduated from PT in February 2016- 14 months post GBS. At that time I was able to walk short distances with a walker and walk unassisted for a few steps around the house.
In July of 2016 I was 90% in a wheelchair and still had many days where I was overcome with chronic fatigue and pain. I found vitamins and supplements that worked for me and made the biggest difference in my everyday life. I no longer have daily pain or overwhelming fatigue. Only when I over do it.
July 2016
I returned to Physical Therapy from October 2016- April 2017. I haven't had to use my wheelchair since Christmas of 2016. It has been amazing. I do sometimes use power chairs when I'm shopping. It's all about knowing my limits.
I'm good these days. Just so grateful for all that I have regained. My walking has improved so very much. I'm able to walk further and further. When I get tired I just sit down and then keep going. It's not uncommon to see me sitting in the middle of Walmart lol.
November 2017 I was diagnosed with endometriosis, sleep apnea and hypothyroidism. I had a surgery to remove all of the endometriosis and was started on thyroid meds.
We spent nearly 3 weeks in The Philippines in December 2017. We were able to see Bryans brother and meet his girlfriend and daughter. We had an amazing trip and spent the 3rd anniversary of me getting GBS swimming with the whale sharks. It was an amazing experience and I got to check some things off of my Bucket List
January 2018 I returned to school. I needed to go out in the real world and learn to adult again lol. I'm currently taking 2 photography classes at the local comunity college. I love it. Photography has given me so much joy and encouraged me to get out of the house so much more than I was.
After all of this time we still had a desire to add a baby to our family. We have explored every option and I felt my heart belonged to adoption. Bryan agreed but wasn’t quiet ready like I have been for 2 years. If you know me, you know how hard it was for me to not tell him that he was ready.
On a Friday in March we had a great day together. Bryan told me to make the appropriate calls on Monday to officially start the process of adoption. We picked up a few things for a baby room and decided we were going to have faith.
That night I randomly took a pregnancy test… It was positive. I was shocked. After 5 ½ years this is the first positive I’ve ever gotten… so I took 7 more 🤣🤣🤣
We are over the moon excited and feel so blessed. It’s so hard to trust in God's timeline when you want something so bad. This baby is truly meant to be.
I can honestly say that the ups and downs of infertility was harder on me emotionally than my whole experience with Guillain Barré Syndrome. If you know someone who is struggling to expand their family, just listen to them if they need to talk. The worst thing you can say is "Just stop trying". The heartbrak that has to happen to "stop trying" is unimaginable.
For those of you currently in the valley of infertility. My heart is with you. Even if I don't personally know you, I'm here if you need someone to talk to and I'm apart of some great groups. It took us 5 1/2 years and a whole lotta heartbreak and self growth.
My neurologist was excited and said that pregnancy is one of the best things when you have an autoimmune disease. He doesn’t foresee me having any issues. We have had too great appointments with ultrasounds. Baby Reddish is perfect and due on November 27th ❤
We are so excited for this next chapter in our life ❤❤❤
Bryan created this video as our pregnancy announcement ❤
https://m.youtube.com/watch?feature=share&v=UbnuUP77RYw
It's been a long hard ride but I'm so grateful for the people who have been by my side. I couldn't of asked for a better husband, dad, family, friends and community that never skipped a beat. They always did their best to make me feel safe, loved and taken care of.
I'm forever grateful for all of the wonderful people I have met because of Guillain Barre. Including all of my fantastic therapists; speech, occupational, physical, recreational and respitory and the amazing nurses, doctors and CNA's.
