Living in 4 different hospitals for a total of 131 days I was cared for by a countless number of nurses. Nurses and Certified Nursing Assistance often get over looked. But I believe they are the heart of a medical facility and medical community.
Being stuck in a "limbo" state unable the easily communicate was unimaginable... I still don't know how it really happened. How I survived that mentally.
I was a fiercely independent 26 year old woman when I was struck with Guillain Barré Syndrome. I never imagined that my life would get knocked sideways. That I would be getting tubes stuck in just about every opening in my body... And even making incisions to add more.
That I would need someone to reposition the once "wiggle worm" me in the hospital bed at least every few hours. That someone would constantly be suctioning the flowing drool from my mouth. Propping my floppy head up with pillows. That someone would be fixing my wedgies. That someone would be changing me, washing and brushing my hair when a family member wasn't around to do it. Wiping my face with cool rags. Making sure Pandora was always on. Teaching my family ways that they could help and comfort me and so much more.
I was literarily in the dark. Unable to open my eyes. Getting moved from floor to floor. Hospital to hospital and always getting new nurses and CNA's.
UCSF doesn't allow loved ones to stay the night with patients in their hospital rooms. I was unbelievably scared. In a new place with people who didn't know me or my "list"... When something was wrong with me, I would shake my thumbs to gain attention. Bryan or whoever was around would go down a list of what I usually needed or what hurt; music, fan, reposition, suction mouth, suction trach, pain meds, Chapstick, head (eyes, mouth, ears, nose, wash face) trach, arms, hands, feeding tube, potty, wedgie, legs, feet, socks, ect.
One of my first nights at UCSF I was terrified and crying- which was basically just tears coming from my eyes since I was unable to make a noise, move or open my eyes... That night I encountered a true angel. One small gesture from her honestly changed my entire experience of being a patient. She came into my room to take my vitals and saw that I was crying and terrified. She checked my vitals, told me she would be back. She checked all of her other patients and came back to hold my hand most of the night when she wasn't needed by other patients. She did not "have" to do that. I don't think she knows how much I appreciated that and how much it meant to me.
I know that I wasn't an easy patient... Especially once I was able to talk. That having my dad, husband, family & friends always around was sometimes difficult but thank you for respecting them and trying your best to help all of us. Thank you for also trying to take care of them when they were trying their absolute best to make me feel safe and comfortable.
Last bust not lest thank you to my favorite nurses- two of my best friends, Whitney & Lisa who spent countless hours by my bedside. Holding my hand or going over my meds with my official nurses. Even translating the medical jargon from the other medical staff. And also to my Aunt Joann who is a retired nurse. She traveled with Bryan to different care homes within two hours of our home. To make sure I would be in an acceptable place and being taken care of.
I will never be able to say thank you enough to all of the wonderful nurses and CNA's who touched my heart... And even to the not so good ones that made me work harder to prove them wrong. It takes a special kind of person to care for another and for that I'm forever grateful.
Happy Nurse Week to all of you. You are all irreplaceable.
